[an attempt to recreate the post I lost]
I really like being here.
In Atlanta. At Candler.
With these friends. In this community.
Of theologians and academic-junkies
and pastors and revolutionaries.
I really like learning.
I like being a "grad student"
and getting a discount at the movies.
I like books.
But going to class?
Reading assignments? Writing papers? Tests?
I'm not so sure.
I'm taking Intro to Preaching.
I don't know why.
I don't like preaching.
I've done it some, so I know.
I don't want to preach.
I heard the professor was phenomenal
and when I heard her preach I was impressed.
So I'm taking Preaching.
In class today she talked about
prophetic preaching and Revelation and
I'm not sure I'm down with that.
Last week
in the used book store I went to three times
because they were having a rockin' sale,
a long-haired man questioned my cynicism.
Dana and I were scoffing
at books with titles like
God's Playbook
and The Bible's Answers to Life's Questions.
"Oh! Here are the answers! Why are we in seminary?"
And the long-haired eavesdropper
(okay, we weren't hard to hear)
came over with his query.
"If you don't mind me asking,
why are you in seminary?"
Taken aback
at our jokes being analyzed,
Dana and I shot each other a look
and I attempted to explain
my former life
in social work/social justice
and my desire to do that through the church and
with a theological basis.
Since then I've been thinking about
why I am in seminary.
But it's really a continuation of my ponderings
prompted by the Christmas-letter-writing-process
which highlighted my accomplishments and interactions
working with issues
like homelessness and disabilities
pre-Atlanta,
and my mere class attendance
and extensive babysitting
in Atlanta.
So why am I in seminary?
I wasn't really sure why I applied.
I wasn't really sure when I got here.
I wonder if I'll know by the time I graduate
in two and a half years.
Today
my answer is that
I want to gain a basic understanding
of major theological movements and figures
and hone my counseling and social change skills.
Tonight
I must read about the Jewish Bible (aka Old Testament).
Tomorrow
I will change the world.
I have work to do.
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I think maybe the point of being here is not knowing why we are here. Maybe, maybe, maybe the point is to be okay with not knowing.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I think, that's all we can do: try to be okay with not knowing.
"Tomorrow
ReplyDeleteI will change the world."
Flora,
You already change the world, just by being in it. You don't have to wait until tomorrow to do that. I am just one of the lives changed by your existence. There are hundreds more.
You are in seminary because you still believe that you can make a change within Christianity, which is a good thing. I, on the other hand, while still living with Jesus as the Way I enter into the Divine, have given up on organized religion and seek to make my changes elsewhre. You are in seminary so you can bridge the gap between Christians and people like me, "The Believers in Exile." You are in seminary because the Church, of any denomination, needs people like you. Committed to social justice, committed to knowing that teaching that none of us are truly free while others are oppressed.
But in the end, you will still question the process when you graduate. I did with my Masters of Music degree. (I mean, at a base level I got it so I can teach at the college level.)
And even though you don't like preaching, I know you are in seminary because you are a leader. And you will lead people, whether through preaching or your actions, to change for the good. I saw it back in 1996 when I recruited you for GC. It has always been at your core.
Remember, it was once said, "Graduate school is the snooze button of life." Sometimes you have to go through the classes for the piece of paper, just so you can show it to other people so that they will believe the revolutionary ideas you are speaking. (Even if those ideas were ones that Jesus spoke in the first place! Like "Blessed are the PEACE MAKERS." If that is so, then why do our "Christian" politicians make so much war?)