Friday, November 05, 2004

Finding a calm, if not a peace

Someone said (remembering the struggles of the UMC General Conference this year, and how those played out) that they don't think the whole nation will hold hands and sing "Blest be the tie that binds."
Today, my lovely friend said she doesn't want to hold hands with the voters in this nation.

Many people are pleased with the outcome of the election.
Many people are angry, hurt, grieving, frustrated, confused...
Mostly, within me I feel a lack.
A lack of understanding, a lack of plan, a lack of anger even, certainly a lack of peace.
I just don't know. I'm just still waiting.

When I see the opposing sides, I see such passion, such conviction.
I see a lack of love, a lack of peace.

I did not like it.
I don't understand how people can ban gay marriage on principles of "morality." How can legal discrimination, fostering of hatred, spreading pain and oppressing someone's being... how can that be moral?
Yet, I know that as strongly as I believe, with every bit of myself, that loving someone should not be considered cause for oppression...
someone on the other side of this issue has an equal and opposite reaction.

In the church, we are oppressive in this same way.
We often fail to recognize the fullness of a person's humanity, fail to affirm their value, fail to embrace them wholely and lovingly.
We see an issue.
If we disagree with a person over a big enough issue, we discount them.
We are not the loving people God has called us to be.

When we are filled with passion over an issue, we are unable to truly hear the other side.
We don't allow ourselves to be open to the possibility that the truth lies somewhere between.
We see ourselves as right, and the other as wrong.

I do not feel a lack of hope.
I feel a lack of direction.
I am seeking, but that is hard and scary, and daily diversions tempt me away.
I pray that I can allow myself to be fully open, fully devoted, fully aware.
Calm, not necessarily peace, may be alright for now.



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