Sissy and me (with my new short haircut) in her rockin' orange living room 

Man, I keep having adventures

and seeing old friends

Greensboro this weekend
hung out at Sissy's rockin' house
got my hair cut short and crazy
(pictures soon...)
watched 5 movies
talked and ate with Alanna and baby AJ

much fun, friends, much fun

there's something about seeing someone
who has known you
through multiple stages of life
-- reassuring, comforting, centering

rock on

Old Friends

US-2 Reunion Weekend

Kris, Julie, Rachel, Miranda, and me at the Cafe for brunch

US-2 Angels




Kris, Julie, Beth A., and Rachel on my couch

Hooray for fun and friends!

Oh What a Week...

lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Eventful seven days, including but not limited to:
A drive to SC to see Dave's new digs
A visit with my parents, then Dave's kin
Switching the big white four door for the minivan
Working twice on Sunday
Braves vs. Nationals, with lots of preachers
Moving Dana into the potassium apartment
Hanging out with some GC girls
Lots of working
Tutoring adorable Korean children

Becca and Jess: The Great Atlanta Adventure

• sampling Atlanta's finest cheap cuisine (Figo, Flying Biscuit...)
• Jake's -- ice cream and games
• baseball and public transportation with a crowd
• wandering shops
• potassium -- drinks and games
• bedtime stories with a twist
• sleepover -- friends and floors
• breakfast bagels and bosoms
• (the girls adventures while I worked included the King Center, Egyptian mummies at Emory, Little Five Points, the pool and sleeping)

Here's Weezer... 

and a few other people who wanted to see Weezer... 

We really like cookies

at my house.

I bought a thing of Oreos last week
and they lasted until last night
which seemed like a short time to me.
But John bought some double-stuffs last night
and there is one left.
A whole pack of Oreos --
24 hours.

"Something brown I'd like to eat -- cookies!"

Hell yeah,

Cheerwine Beachtowel!







I reached 805 points today
after redeeming my last 12 pack of cans.
Now I have 5 points
and a towel is headed my direction.

Rock the heck on.
In 4 to 6 weeks,
I will be the only one at my local pool
sporting a Cheerwine beachtowel.

I am a huge dork.
But I do love some Cheerwine.
And going to the pool.
Ha.

Live Music

rocks!

I just saw Weezer
for free downtown
and so did a billion other people.
I am covered in sweat
much of it not my own.

Lane and I might have been crushed
had it not been for Ethan
a skinny bald man who befriended us
and protected us
by shoving other people away.

Thursday
I had a different live music experience.
I saw Ward Williams
from Jump Little Children
at Eddie's Attic,
which is a small, intimate venue.
Ward played the cello
and was pretty damn awesome.

I love live music.
Rock the heck on.

Today has been really hard

My great aunt died last night.
She lived alone outside Chicago
and I haven't seen her in far too long.
She was independent and spunky
and short.
She was a part of my childhood family gatherings
singing and telling stories
making me who I am.
We wrote each other letters
when I was in college and when I was a US-2.
She's been sick for a while.
Her passing is not a shock,
but still a loss.
She loved me.
And now there is at least one less person who does.

I am sad.

Cheerwine Update

I have 760 Cheerwine points.
That means I am 40 points away
from my new beach towel
which is somewhere between
2 and 8 bottles of Cheerwine.
I have 2.
I do not have 8.

Come on, big money, no whammies!

13/15

today I reached 26 of the
30 hours I am to work
this week

which means I either work extra
-- more likely --
or I only work 4 hours over the next 3 days

I'm cool with a fat paycheck
but I am zonked
(local pastors take a lot out of you)

Patriotic Parachuter -- several actually, from the Navy, I believe... They soared in with sparks flying from their feet.  

My Super-Americana 4th of July Weekend

July 2:
roadtrip
to see Grandma
and my cousin Daniel

met his girlfriend

ate lots of potroast

July 3:
church
patriotic hymn
pledge of allegiance to american and christian flags

"Fanfare and Fireworks" in Gainesville, FL
-- a field filled with patriot families
listening to rock music/patriotic orchestra
standing and saying the pledge of allegiance in unison
eating picnics or cotton candy & funnel cake from vendors
drinking coca cola
cheering for branches of armed forces
oohing and ahhing at fireworks

July 4th:
roadtrip back to the ATL

where to see fireworks?

Braves game!
standing tickets in the rain
free flag hat (as mentioned below)
cotton candy
patriotic parachuters
fireworks

public transportation
avoids the traffic
feels less pretentious

Dana and me at the Braves vs. Cubs game on the 4th. Yup, those are "American Flag" Braves hats, which we got free for being among the first 45,000 fans. The A is filled with stars and stripes, and the edge of the bill also has stars and stripes. It was raining. So we wore them. Then we had hat hair. So we kept on wearing them. Also, we had "standing room" tickets, which means no seats. So we stood by the Braves bullpen, which was super cool. "That guy's warming up. Hey, now that guy's running onto the field. And now he's pitching in the game." Rock on. 

one of the nice things

about our new home in the retirement community
is the pool.
1.) it is not far from our apartment -- just around the building and across a footbridge
2.) there is an odd assortment of people -- today, for instance, there was a muslim family, a grandmother and a couple kids, three gay men in tiny bathingsuits, an australian woman and some guy, and an old lady who tans a lot and smokes upwind of us
3.) evidently, i will read if i am lying out in the sun
4.) we can invite friends to hang out with us "by the pool"
5.) i have not lived this close to a pool since i was in greensboro and it was right out my backdoor and i never went to it
6.) i might actually get a tan this summer -- healthy, slow progress toward a golden glow...
7.) if, actually when, it gets insanely hot, you just get in the pool
8.) it is summertime, and like popsicles, pools are for the summertime

Our new answering machine message

"Thank you for calling.
If you'd like to leave a message, go to the McDonalds at North Decatur and Clairmont. Behind the dumpster you'll find a blue mark on a brick wall. Under that mark is a tin box. In that box is a key. That key goes to a locker in Lindberg MARTA station. In that locker is a plane ticket. DO NOT take that flight. But do look at the destination and go to the street with corresponding name in Atlanta. You'll see a restaurant. You'll know. Ask for Muriel. She'll tap her shoulder twice. Tell her the message. She'll call and leave it after this beep."


This is our first message.
We decided we'll play a little game.
We will individually change the message while the others aren't around,
perhaps in a way that will humorously disparage the others.
And it must be changed by the 20th of the month.
Rock on.

Perspective

as in, it's always a matter of

where you've been
what you've done
who you've known
who's loved you

contributions to the view

we seek a preconceived outcome
i look for vibrancy and action
someone seeks peace and determination
another finds commonality in loss

Headache

chili peppers on the radio

today
i woke up
and wanted to stay there
or transplant to poolside

no desire arose
to go to work

i do like my job
the people are fun
the work is easy

almost time for quittin'
my head is splitting

at least there's a cookout tonight

i do love grilled meat
and groups of people
and being outside

Some quotes

that resonate with me today

"Everything is miraculous. It is miraculous that one does not melt in one's bath."
~ Pablo Picasso

"All big things in this world are done by people who are naive and have an idea that is obviously impossible." ~ Frank Richards

"The truth of the matter is that you always knowthe right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." ~ H. Norman Schwarzkopf

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
~ Will Rogers

"If you don't like the way the world is, you change it. You have an obligation to change it."
~ Marian Wright Edelman

"It's not that 'today is the first day of the rest of my life,' but that now is all there is of my life."
~ Hugh Prather

"I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act. The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness."
~ Abraham Maslow

"I thank you God for this most amazing day;
for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky;
and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes."
~ e.e. cummings

Cheerwine.

I am a dork.

I have 690 Cheerwine points.
Once I hit 800
I will have a Cheerwine beach towel
and my points will plummet to zero.

Also, I love Cheerwine.
If you don't know what it is,
I am sorry.
But it is pretty stinkin' delicious
and I love it.

It used to be
A Carolina Thing
but now it's
The Taste You Crave.

Rock on.

Home

"... where my thoughts escape me,
home --
where my music's playin',
home --
where my love lies waitin' silently for me..."
- Simon & Garfunkel "Homeward Bound"

One week ago, I moved my queen bed into its third apartment since I bought it in August 2003. Here are my long-promised thoughts about that thing called "home."


A friend of mine lives in the same town as all her family, has lived in that town her whole life, and was recently shocked when she thought of Atlanta as home rather than longing for Virginia.
Throughout college, my friends got homesick, missing their native climate, their local snacks, their best friend since the second grade.

The idea of home is different for me.

I went to five schools before graduating high school. My parents moved three times while I was in college. For 14 of my 27 years I had no extended family in the state where I lived.
My grandmother's house in Gainesville, FL has been the most consistent place in my life. When people ask me where I'm from, I say I don't have one of those. With both parents United Methodist ministers, we moved every few years, and each usually had two churches. That's a lot of churches.

I don't say all of that in a "woe is me" fashion. I wouldn't change any of it. Except for the people who were mean to my parents... I'd erase that. (Be nice to your minister!)


Here are a few results of my parsonage-hopping childhood:

I have had to call my parents to get directions to our house. That is a funny thing to do.

On a Sunday morning, I can walk into a United Methodist church and feel at home. I felt more at home in Wesley's City Road Chapel in London or in Epworth UMC at Candler Park here in Atlanta than I would if I were to return to a house I lived in as a child.

Home is a feeling for me, not a location.

I take a lot of pictures, because I'll never see some friends again. And that's okay. But it doesn't mean that I wasn't changed by them or that I don't remember them.

I both love and hate moving. I love going new places and trying new things, getting acclimated to a new environment -- a fresh start. But I hate boxes. I hate carrying my stuff to a truck and driving it somewhere else. I hate regretting that I have held onto certain things, and having to decide which momentos are less significant. If only I were a minimalist...

I am not afraid to go somewhere new. I've lived in small farm towns, state capitols, unincorporated communities, and small cities. I've lived in five states, each of which has a distinct and dynamic personality. If I get somewhere and it sucks, I've learned that it will probably get better, but if not it is just temporary anyway.


I came to Candler for lots of reasons: to gain a deeper grasp on theology in general, to focus on social justice, to live in Atlanta -- a deeply historic yet modern and exciting city...
But mostly I think I came here because I already knew people here. Several of my college friends live in Atlanta, and a couple are associated with Candler. Also, two of my US-2 classmates are here.
I've never started a new phase of my life with a pre-established support system (outside my family).

Regardless of the reasons I came, I am glad I am here.
Candler feels like home.
Atlanta feels like home, at least for now...

Moving

stinks

I am super stoked about the new apt.
But I hate packing.
I will hate unpacking next week.
I have too much crap.
I don't know what to do with it.

I have been packing some each day
but I have so much left.
I knew this would happen.
The sprained ankle didn't help me
overcome my procrastination.

Ugh.

sleep...

i must

i am not a person who can go without it
it turns out

goodnight.

My parents at their Surprise 30th Anniversary Fiesta on Sunday  

To Drive or Not To Drive...

Today I drove

for the first time since the sprain
last Monday.

And, it sucked.

I love driving.
I hate being a passenger.
Probably mostly a control issue
but I do get carsick
which is probably also a control issue.

My ankle/foot is at that point
where it seems silly to use crutches
because it doesn't hurt to walk
but it does hurt 30 minutes later.
And evidently it hurts to drive.


Side note:
my mom rocks
for driving me 4.5 hours to the ATL
for cooking me an awesome dinner
for taking me out to breakfast at the Flying Biscuit
for washing my dishes
(which I haven't been able to do because I can't stand long)
for packing my dishes
and just in general

On the injured list

that's me

I am officially sprained.

The doctor said
just to keep doing what I have been.
You know, R.I.C.E.ing it.
And using my crutches.
Then she had her nurse wrap my ankle
in an ace bandage.

Changing Gears

I have finished my school work.
Now I have summer.

What will she procrastinate now?
Never fear.
I need to move in 3 weeks.
And we all know how that goes.

Well, maybe you don't.
Here's the picture:
I'll pack a box here,
a box there.
Dishes, books, that sort of easy thing.
Then it will be 2 days before I move
and I will have massive amounts of stuff
left to pack.
I will stay up nearly all night
at least once packing.
Because, you see, I really want to organize
as I pack
but that's hard
so I'll put it off.

If you've been around for one of my moves
-- Spider, Sissy, Dave --
you are well aware of this process.
If you get to help me this year
-- John, Dana, Dave --
get ready.
Here it comes.
I'll buy you dinner for the trouble.


And also another thing too:
I think I sprained my ankle today.
I was jumping to catch a frisbee
and you know how your feet are
supposed to land flat on the ground?
Well my right foot didn't.
It hurts a bit.

Russel, angry Dave Scott, Me, Jaycephus, Dana, John at Spring Banquet  

With Dave at Spring Banquet last weekend -- precious, huh? 

Finals

It's the end, folks.
Of the school year, that is.
Only three 3-4 page essays
and one actual final exam
separate me from summer!
Yesterday, I turned in a 5 page paper
plus 2 brochures.

So, why can't I make myself write
my 3 exegetical essays?
Maybe because I still have no real clue
what an exegetical essay looks like.

Thus, today I have packed up
my Christmas dishes and decorations.
(I know, it's May...)
I talked on the phone for an hour and a half.
I went to lunch.
I even took a shower and put on real clothes.

Alas, I have nothing to say.
At least about the exegetical assignments...

Ooh, I do need to do laundry!

The other day, my friend said
that procrastination is a result of perfectionism
because you don't want to start something
if you know it won't be good enough.
I think that is true for me.
If I know it's not going to be as good as I want it to
why put massive amounts of time into it?
Also, I recognize the lack of logic here:
1) it could be better if I put more time into it
2) why not just get it over with?

Anyway.
I'm going to go sit on the couch and stare at the Bible.
I'll be waiting for divine inspiration...

I used to hate pink

the color, not the formerly famous singer.

It was too girly.
I was a tomboy growing up
and climbed trees and ran races in college.
Only after I graduated from GC
and started real jobs
did I gain an appreciation for
the color pink.

It is pretty.
And it looks nice with my skin.
I am wearing a pink shirt today,
in case you wondered.
Rock on.

cooking on the "campfire" the other night 

These crazies are my friends: Michael trying to make out with Dana at dinner... 

Camping?

Tonight
I am going "camping."

When I first heard the idea to camp
I was stoked.
Maybe we'd head out to a state park.
Maybe we'd go to the mountains.

Nope.

The rest of the idea was to camp in town.
In Atlanta.
Not just in ATL,
but in the woods behind my apt. complex.
Fire and all.

So it took me a while,
but I warmed up to the idea.
It'll be funny at least.

Now, we are not even going in the woods.
We're setting up camp,
so to speak,
in the yard behind the conference center
at the back of the apt. complex
(all owned by Emory).
And we're not having a fire.
We are using my grill.

Camping indeed.
Photos to come, I am sure...

Nada

So, my clock radio is set to an oldies station.
I like to hear the Beatles or the Monkees
in the morning.
Makes me get out of bed.
Sometimes.
(The other day,
I figured out that if I scoot down and over
a few inches
and lean toward my dresser
upon which the alarm clock is perched,
I can reach the snooze bar with my big toe.)

This morning,
I did not hear the Beatles
nor the Monkees or Mamas and Papas
or Sam Cooke.
This morning,
I did not hear english.

Evidently,
the world of communication has decided
that oldies are out
and spanish is in.
Turns out that my station
switched to spanish at midnight last night.

I was unaware.
And taken aback
due to being unaware.

I remember some spanish.
Not enough to put it on my resume.
Or, I recently learned,
enough to listen to a radio morning show.

Tallahassee lost its oldies station
less than a year after I moved there, too.
Perhaps it's just me.

Link that!

I figured out
what I was doing wrong
with my link sidebar and footer.
And now you can get to
Dana, Dave, Sissy, Jay, John and Spider
all from either the side
or the bottom
of my blog.

Rock on.

Seriously, I must start writing my papers!

Too much!

work to do, so I'll approach one of my
previously mentioned topics,
with more possibly following as the night wears on...


What Makes Cookies So Good
1) they are just the right balance of sweet and salty
2) frequently, they include random chunks of something delicious -- chocolate, for example -- which creates guilt in mass consumption due to its decadence; in small quantities, it is perfect
3) they smell yummy
4) they dip nice in milk
5) they are portable
6) one is a nice, healthy-sized dessert; and two won't kill you (76, however, could give you a tummy ache)
7) they are simply delicious (unless you accidentally get oatmeal raisin when you expected chocolate chip -- not a good surprise, I'd say)
8) if you aren't scared of salmonella, the dough is also delicious
9) they make good thank you gifts for nearly anyone (mailman, boss, friend, neighbor, teacher, you get the idea)

Hey, just so you know

I'll write a real post soon.
As real as they get
at least.

Here are some subjects
I plan to ponder
in the future
and which may or may not
become blog topics:

the idea of home
what makes cookies so good
working
television priorities
why/how i am less poetic now than 5 years ago
packing and discarding

Until then, enjoy the poetry
find some where you are
rearrange your sentences
and smile at the sun.

Ah, WCW... I love Poetry Month!

This is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
an so cold

-- William Carlos Williams

Symphony in Yellow

by Oscar Wilde

An omnibus across the bridge
Crawls like a yellow butterfly,
And, here and there, a passer-by
Shows like a little restless midge.

Big barges full of yellow hay
Are moored against the shadowy wharf,
And, like a yellow silken scarf,
The thick fog hangs along the quay.

The yellow leaves begin to fade
And flutter fromthe Temple elms,
And at my feet the pale green Thames
Lies like a rod of rippled jade.

pondering

from M. Doughty...

help me know your enormity
and my finiteness

More poetry...

from Dylan Thomas this time


Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at the close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, Rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

It's Poetry Month

Few get enough, -- enough is one;
To that ethereal throng
Have not each one of us the right
To stealthily belong?

-- Emily Dickinson

Today in the life

Registered for fall this morning
got my classes:
Urban Ministry
New Testament
Women in the New Testament
Systematic Theology
and Contextual Education II

Five minutes of Bibilical Criticism
in Christian Thought
devoted to Elizabeth Cady Stanton
who rocks so very hard.

Presentation in 1.5 hours
on Parish Nursing.
Not quite done with it...

Babysitting later.

Then writing colloquy paper
for tomorrow
and doing exegesis work
before hanging out with Bob
who comes to Atlanta lots and I'm stoked.

Candler girls with Carson 

Dream Jobs

A friend of mine asked me this question:
If you could do exactly what you want to do, all constraints of reality aside, what would it be?

Here are my responses.
Feel free to add yours in comments.
Rock on for dreams.


Really:
I'd love to start (so I could set it up) and run a shelter for homeless mothers and children. It would be in an apartment setting, with families sharing common spaces for childcare, tutoring, exercise, community events, tv with cable, game room, swimming pool (with lifeguard and lessons) and playground. It would not be in the ghetto. It would have programs that would actually help the women gain life skills in practical, applicable ways, and would help them truly gain employment, as well as establishing/nurturing self-esteem and spiritual development. Childcare would be provided onsite. It would be a 1 year transitional program with required case management and family counseling, including/especially art therapy and music therapy. There would be yoga classes, and workout equipment. It would rock really hard.

Fantasy, with all social and faith conscience aside:
Travel writer! I'd get to travel all over the freakin' world on somebody else's dime AND I'd get paid to write about it! Think of the adjectives I'd get to use! Sparkling seas, luminous skylines, peaceful ruins... Ahh, the pictures, the words, the locals, the food....

Goodbye, Mitch ole buddy

(warning: Lent is over
and the cussing has resumed.
This post will contain more bad words than any other.)


Another legend,
gone.

http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/11279978.htm

If you knew him not,
you should have.
He was funny as hell.
Most of which is related to inflection and meter.
And he was a Minnesotan.
I will miss him.


"I want to be a racecar passenger -- just a guy who bugs the driver.
Can I turn on the radio?
Why do we have to keep driving in circles?
You really like Tide."

"I can't tell you what hotel I'm staying at,
but there are two trees involved.
They said 'Let's call this hotel something-tree.'
So they had a meeting. It was quite short.
'Tree?' 'Unh uh.'
'Double tree?' 'Hell yeah! Meeting adjourned!'
'Damn, I had my heart set on quadruple tree. Well we were almost there!'"

"They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime.
I tried to make it at home
and there's something more to it.
'Want some more homemade Sprite?'
'Not til you find out what the hell else is in it!'"

"I order club sandwiches all the time.
I don't know how.
I'm not even in the club..."

"I saw this wino.
He was eating grapes.
I was like, 'Dude,
you have to wait.'"

"With a stoplight,
red means stop, yellow means slow down, and green means go.
With bananas, it's just the opposite.
Yellow means go, green means hold on,
and red means 'Where the fuck did you get that banana?'"

"I went to a doctor.
All he did was suck blood from my neck.
Don't go to Doctor Acula."


If you love Mitch, prove it.
I aced this quiz. 100%
http://www.funtrivia.com/quizdetails.cfm?id=83923


"If I'm ever in here buying nine apples, fuckin' bag em up!"

"That's a clever chocolate saving technique!"

"This bedroom has an oven in it!"

"That's a fresher. I'm going on break!"

"I'm not into sports. I mean I like gatorade, but that's about it."

"Snap Krackle Mitch and Pop. 'How the fuck did he do that?' In Hollywood it's all about who you know, and I know Krackle."

Filling Space

This post is to physically separate the Bible verse
and the cussing that is to ensue.

Ha!
Note my eclectic nature!

Also, I pretty much got a
non-nannying
summer job today.
Rock on.

Remembered

Spider reminded me of a verse Joy and I wrote on a gift we gave him.



"Your life in Christ makes you strong, and his love comforts you. You have fellowship with the Spirit, and you have kindness and compassion for one another."
-- Philippians 2:1 (TEV)



Evidently, this is quite the slanted version of this verse, and it is quite different in other translations. (TEV isn't really a translation...) But I like this way best.

insights

the Z-pak is wonderful
I can breathe mostly

if I had no planner
I would be freer
because I would forget a lot of stuff

I am glad to have my car back
but there was something special about driving the minivan

the hunt for a future home and job is so on

girl scout cookies are delicious
i must start working out
perhaps MWF mornings

it is late and I am tired

rock on

oy with the poodles already!

so everytime i get sick
i wait a couple days
to see if it is just the sniffles
or if it will go away
and then
when i am completely miserable
i get a doctor's appointment
usually for the next day
when i get to the doctor
i am not congested
i am not coughing
my throat is barely sore
my nose is not running

i have an appointment in half an hour
i have been miserable for days
unable to sit through an entire class without
leaving to blow my nose
(ew, i know)
and now
i can mostly breathe

what the heck
at least i can ask for migraine medicine

Hymns I picked for folks to sing*

at my devotion for the prospective US-2s on Saturday morning:

Lord of the Dance
It's Me, It's Me (Standing in the Need of Prayer)
Freely, Freely
Everytime I Feel the Spirit
Here I am, Lord (obligatory service song)
Sanctuary (3 times, GC style)


* Yes, I am a hymn dork.
Yes, I have my own UMC hymnal.
with my name on it.
And I sometimes turn off the car radio
and sing hymns at the top of my lungs.

Adventures Abundant

What a week.
(and a half, really)
In bullet points.

ATL:
margarita bash
visit from my love
mucho Duke basketball
Church nursery
greek pre-bday dinner for 10

NYC:
1st class flight -- happy birthday to me!
ethiopian dinner, Altar Boyz
interfaith dialogue
St. Pauls by WTC
Grace Deli lunch
Islamic cultural center
Amateur Night at the Apollo
UN tour
dinner with aunt
St. Pat's drinks with Spider
US-2 interviews
devotion/"Beth gets to pick lots of hymns for folks to sing"
Union Square
H&M
taxis and subway
mucho walking

Return to the ATL:
2 flights
coach
migraine
no studying done
swimming dots before my eyes
willy's super taco
bed

mildly postponed:
OT test
CT essay
breathing

yesterday:
pjs all day
showered
back in pjs

today:
at some point my watch stopped running
and my nose started.
ew. (bet you didn't want to know that. me either!)
dinner = kick @$$ soup i made.

rock on.
busy.
tired.
Spring Break?
do you see a break?
adventures abundant indeed.

a birthday picture with US-2 girls 

Older

I am now in my late 20s.
At least I will be at 7:14am central time.

Happy Birthday to Me.
Rock on.

Faux-berry

you know when you love a band
forever
and then they get popular
and their music is crap?
or when your childhood hero
sells out and is on Surreal Life?
and you're just so disappointed
because it's like they let you down
by not maintaining their old standards...

well
here i am
eating a "strawberry" fruit rollup
that has not a bit of strawberry in it.
the main ingredient?
pears.
evidently pears are the new strawberries.

i ate the first one
and it tasted different
tangy-er.
i had noticed the familiar strawberry seeds missing
several boxes ago
but just let myself believe
that they got better blenders.
but with the tangy-ness
i checked the box
and no strawberries are in the rollup.

dismay. shock. horror. woe.
nostalgia for days of rollups with seeds
and appropriately labeled fruit...

4 pages to write

and I can't make myself do it.
I have read my friends' blogs.
I have checked and rechecked my email.
I went out to dinner.
I have played spider solitaire.
I printed out all my itineraries for my trip to NYC next week.
I watched the O.C.

Here's what I have to do:

type a page I already have written

skim 3 chapters on faith and health and write 2 simple pages

read another article

write a one page colloquy paper

Here's the ever-present question:
Does this really matter?
If I read these chapters about faith and health
and healing in the New Testament,
is that somehow going to help the guy I talked to
at The Carptenter's House last night
get medical attention without hours and days and lifetimes in the ER?
Is this going to give people choices,
real choices that are distinct and personal,
not "choices" limited by their social or economic status?
Is this going to help churches be more accessible for people with disabilities,
more willing to advocate for better healthcare for their members,
more able to address the needs for healing and wholeness
that seem to be engulfing people,
more willing to just stand beside people as they try to make sense
of their bodies shutting down or relearning daily tasks?

I hope the answer is yes, one day.
But we have not gotten to that point in the class
where we discuss practical application
of the terminology and models and charts and analysis.

Ah, back to work...

Some Lists

all lists are in no particular order, and are at least slightly ridiculous

Top 5 movies I'd rather watch right now than read about faith and health:
(limited to movies I own)
1. Much Ado About Nothing (Branagh version)
2. Shakespeare in Love
3. Legally Blonde
4. Empire Records
5. Son In Law

My 5 favorite desserts:
1. Rice Krispy Bars
2. Chocolate Chip Cookies (not pre-made store bought)
3. Cheesecake with Strawberries (no whipped cream!)
4. Haystacks
5. Strawberry Shortcake

Places I want to visit in the not too distant future:
(limited to places I've never been)
1. Italy
2. Greece
3. California
4. Australia
5. Hawaii
oooh, there are so many more...

Furniture I personally own:
(though I only bought the bed and one bookshelf new)
1. Bed
2. Dresser and nightstand set
3. 2 bookshelves
4. 2 desks
5. Small couch

Top 5 ways I like chicken prepared:
(limited to white meat)
1. Chicken florentine, accompanied by pasta with light white sauce
2. Grilled, on kabobs or just seasoned
3. BBQ
4. in my mom's Wild Rice Soup
5. Fettucine Alfredo with Chicken, and frequently broccoli

ROBIN HAD HER BABY!!!!!

And I want to go meet her!

Although I am a random info sharer

(to unsuspecting friends, grocery cashiers, strangers...)
I was alarmed to notice
the quanity of personal information revealed
in the previous two posts.

And neither directly mentioned procrastinating.
However,
I am entirely certain I was putting off
doing something productive
when I wrote them.

Here are some possibilities:
1. doing the dishes
2. going to bed
3. reading theology
4. reading the Hebrew Bible
5. eating, which really means preparing food
6. taking out the trash and recycling
7. getting dressed
8. taking a shower
9. reading theology
10. straightening up my piles of stuff everywhere

I double mentioned
reading theology
because I consciously avoid that
more than anything else.
Funny that it's what I'm
paying thousands of dollars to study...

Ending the bedtime procrastination
for tonight
(though I did put off reading this afternoon
by taking a 3 hour nap).

So, I just looked at deadmule.com, and felt inspired to claim my dual citizenship

Why I could be a Southerner:
I watched “Glory” every year in high school history.

I’ve lived in 4 Southern states (SC, NC, FL, GA), which is four times the number of Midwestern states (MN).

I love porch swings. And rocking chairs. And a cool breeze on a late summer evening, visiting outside with friends. And ceiling fans. Anything that moves the air in the summertime.

I can distinguish between the three types of Carolina Barbeque, and yellow sauce kicks the sorry @$$es of ketchup-based and vinegar-based.

I left the parking lot of my high school graduation and drove four hours for a week at Myrtle Beach, complete with hours at the Pavilion and friends hauled off to jail.

My best friends include a jailer and a high school teacher.

I spent many a summer day so sweaty I didn’t care anymore.

I might not eat grits or okra, but I love me some bbq.

My summer time delicacy is a tomato sandwich: freshly picked, still warm from the sun tomatoes, wonder bread and mayo.

Cheerwine. Dear god, that stuff is good!


Why I’m still a Minnesotan at heart:
I was born in St. Cloud, and spent the first ten years of my life in little farm towns.

I know the proper response when someone asks if you want to “go with.”

I love cheese. And nearly all dairy products.

The Twins will always be my favorite baseball team. I waved my homer hankie during the ’87 and ’91 World Series, and cheered for Kirrrrrrrby Pucket, Kent Hrbek and Bert Blylevin. But my favorite play was Dan Gladden stealing home, or when he hit a grand slam.

I’m 3/8 Swedish, which is not bad. And my parents tried to make me dress up as St. Lucia and serve them breakfast in bed.

I remember eating krumkaka at Christmas, and I know what lutefisk and lefse are.

Snow forts and ice skating filled almost half the months of my childhood.

I’ve gotten used to overcooked vegetables, but I still prefer my green beans crunchy.

They are Rice Krispy “BARS” – not treats!

I still miss twilight and northern lights, even after 17 years in the South.

It's Late. 1:48am. Which I guess is early.

When you really think about it.
I think this will be long and weird.

I have told a few people lately
and some people from before now
already knew this or some part of it.

I have holocaust-type dreams.
That's the only way I can categorize them.
I read Eli Weisel's Night in college
and it's like the rounding up for the ghettos.
And maybe it comes from the memory of that book.
Or maybe it comes from hearing the stories
of my college friends from Kosovo
who were forced from their homes
and had to run or made it to refugee camps.
Maybe from all those books I read as a kid
about Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad.
Or maybe just from my overwhelming desire
to help.

Here's how it goes:
There are bad guys coming to get us --
an "us" that includes me and some group
definitely with children.
And I have to direct, lead, help
people to hide.
I am not usually personally at danger
except for the aiding of those who are.
And I never get it right.

So I already knew I wanted to save the world.
I've been having these dreams for years
since college for sure.
But I knew when I was little that I would do something
some job that would help people
have better lives.
And I did for a while in Tallahassee --
at least I tried.
I helped people find jobs and homes
and get their kids in school
and set goals for the first time.
But I had no training.

So now I'm in school
and I'm learning about
theology and church history and connections between faith and health
and I go to Contextual Education for 4 hours a week
and it is cool and all
but I don't feel like I really do anything.
Most of the time I am okay with it
because I know this is a time of preparation
a time to be still and learn and grow
to get ready for when I can do that stuff I want to do again.

But every so often
I feel restless and tired of reading.
Because despite my english degree
I do not love reading the stuff we have to read
and it is really hard to make myself do it.
I would much rather be at some agency
talking to someone about who they are and what they want to do
and trying to help them figure out how that can happen.

Many of my friends here are very academic
and I just never was.
I have said before
and it is still true that
I like the academic/school environment
and I like going to class
discussing issues
learning and gaining new perspective
but I don't really like being a student.

One day, I think I'll be
the old lady who audits random courses
at the local university.
I'll probably also be the old lady
who wears bright colors
and funny glasses
and talks a little too loud
and likes to take people to lunch.

That is,
after we save the world.

Of Varying Importance

Here is a list of things:

1. "The first canon cast or wrought of bronze tended to come apart upon firing, which of course made their use somewhat exciting for all involved. Carved stone cannon balls whose rough edges might catch in the barrel were equally problematic to the cannoneer, who, given his primitive working conditions, was exhorted to fear, honor, and love God more than any other soldier."
-- Carter Lindberg, The European Reformations, p. 38-39


2. I figured out how to print pictures from my computer.


3. a poem by Richard Brautigan:

Xerox Candy Bar

Ah,
you're just a copy
of all the candy bars
I've ever eaten.


4. My hair is frightfully curly today.
Perhaps the weather?


5. Christian Thought test tomorrow = more posts tonight!


6. In London, there are poems on the tube
where ads might be.
There is a compilation book called "Poems on the Underground."
This is from the parody book, "Poems Not on the Underground."

Hamlet at Kennington

Tube, or not Tube: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The stinks and elbows of obnoxious passengers,
Or to take refuge in your walkman,
And by ignoring end them? To die: to nod off:
No more; and, by nodding off to say we end
The bone-ache, the delays, the thousand disturbances
The Underground is heir to, 'tis an escape
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to have a kip;
To sleep; perchance to miss our stop: ay, there's the rub.


7. I have a lot to read.
Studying is hard.


8. "The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves but in our attitude towards them."
-- Antoine de Saint Exupery

Lent

So, every year I try to give up cussing for Lent.
It has never worked.
I am no good at not cussing.

In college,
I tried every year to give up
cussing and Coca Cola.
That certainly never worked.

It turns out I am addicted
to caffeine and bad words.

My one Lenten success story
was last year:
I gave up Walmart.

I'd give up Walmart again this year
but I don't even know where one is
to give up.

I am trying to say "foo" instead of bad words.

Technology, Fluid, Employment

I got my computer back!

My car needed about a bucket of
transmission fluid.
But no more jumping.

Job flux.
Who knows?

Tonight's methods of procrastination:

1. Going to Kroger to buy manwich sauce.
2. Making manwiches.
3. Eating manwiches on the couch while watching the O.C.
4. Email... obviously.
5. Calling CompUSA to check on my computer (sadly, after business hours)
6. Contemplating my current and possible employment situations in a cost-benefit analysis.
7. Um, blogging.
And the strangest to put into words:
8. Separating the 6 pounds of ground beef I bought into 6 ziploc baggies for easy freezing and defrosting.

I do have real things to do,
including 2 outlines and 2 papers for tomorrow's colloquy.
Hope I get around to them...
Rock on.

What I need is...

A whirlwind of productivity!
So much to do!

I have books -- yes plural
to read,
papers to write.
And a personal project to complete.

I am not really a good student.
Actually
I am really not a good student.

I need to gain a sense of
unclouded determination!
I must go work!
For hours on end!
I must accomplish my educational goals!
I must first set educational goals!
Focus.

Rock on.

Experiencing Technical Difficulties

Unlike Kip in Napoleon Dynamite,
I do not love technology.
Not these days.

My computer is gone away.
It would not turn on
so I took it to the people
and have heard nothing.
Who knows.
Good thing I spent so much on it
when I bought it
six months ago.

So I am relegated to the computer lab
and the generosity of lovely friends.
Dana is letting me use her internet
at this very minute
and John is letting me borrow his old computer
for papers and the like.

Rock on.
All will be well.

Icy street, hazy skyline.  

Out my front door this morning... sleet, not snow, has covered Hotlanta.  

Ah yes.

So, I remembered why I wanted to come to seminary.
I had these beliefs
about faith and service and justice,
specifically about service and justice being
products of faith.
I felt assured, peaceful -- maybe too calm -- with my faith,
and felt that faith inspires the desire to serve others
and to see them treated well and healthy and happy.

So I had that idea
that was more like a foundation
for everything else for me.
And I didn't know where that came from.
Obviously, it came most directly from my minister parents,
indirectly from the lives of my grandparents,
and from the even more removed lives of
people like Martin Luther King, Jr. and Eleanor Roosevelt
who couldn't bear injustice
when justice could be so beautiful
so much closer to God's intention.

So I felt called through my faith to serve others,
and I could explain it
but I didn't know where my explanation originated.
I knew my dad read me theology books when I was little
but I don't remember who said what or why.

Well, today I'm reading Luther
and there it all is.
Just what I believe, right on the page.
I haven't finished reading
and there are some things I disagree with --
at least one snide sexist and anti-semetic remark --
but also there is the premise that guides me.
People are not destined to salvation/justification/righteousness
but they are not required anything more than faith,
and the works come as an expression of love to God and neighbor.
Works do not equal grace, but grace can/should lead to works.

I think that's right.

I wanted to figure out
why I believe
what I believe.

Classes

Oh, I swapped Preaching
for Mission and International Healthcare.
Whew.

I was/am soooo not ready for preaching.
I would like to gain a broader (um, any) theological basis
and biblical understanding
prior to having to spout sermons on the spot.
I think I could have squeaked through the class,
maybe even done okay,
but that is not what I, eventually, want out of the class.

Am I ready for Mission and International Healthcare?
Who can say...
But I am interested in mission
and I would like to know more (than nothing) about healthcare.
Admittedly, I lack knowledge about healthcare,
but that's why I'm in the class.
And the professor is emphatic that health and faith are linked.
That's what I got out of today's class.
Rock on.

Breathing

I can't.
I am clogged.
No kidding.
And it is mildly miserable.

But it did motivate me to make soup.
Homemade.
For the first time ever.
Rock on, me.
It is vegetable beef
and includes
carrotsonionscelerypotatoestomatoescornlimabeansgreenbeans
and barley.
I think it's real good.
I don't really know though
since smell directly affects taste
and breathing, or the lack of, directly affects smell.
But it is pretty.
And Dana said it smelled good.

I feel crappy.
But tomorrow I will have new cereal for breakfast
and soup for lunch.
Rock on.

Here's something

from the book "Inspiration Sandwich" by SARK

I love it when people say, "You can't do that."
It's like hearing "I dare you."

When I went to Europe alone at age 19, these same people said, "Switzerland is very expensive. You can't expect to live there." So of course, I went to Switzerland immediately, and met a man in Zermatt looking for a housesitter for his chalet that had just been built into the side of a mountain, accessible only by chairlift.

Years ago, in the Bahamas, I had no money, and was tired of sleeping in the lounge chairs by the pool. I went to one of the big hotels and asked to see the manager. I told him that I would like to babysit or teach swimming in exchange for a room. He just looked at me, and then reached into a drawer, took out a set of keys and pushed them across the desk. "Take these. I was young and broke once too." The keys opened the door to a penthouse on the top floor. I lived there for a month.

I like to take the impossibles and make them possible.
I believe that we need to go to where we want to be, and the resources will follow us.
Impossible means I'm possible!
Plant all your impossible gardens and see what blooms!

Class is in Session

[an attempt to recreate the post I lost]


I really like being here.
In Atlanta. At Candler.
With these friends. In this community.
Of theologians and academic-junkies
and pastors and revolutionaries.

I really like learning.
I like being a "grad student"
and getting a discount at the movies.
I like books.
But going to class?
Reading assignments? Writing papers? Tests?
I'm not so sure.

I'm taking Intro to Preaching.
I don't know why.
I don't like preaching.
I've done it some, so I know.
I don't want to preach.
I heard the professor was phenomenal
and when I heard her preach I was impressed.
So I'm taking Preaching.
In class today she talked about
prophetic preaching and Revelation and
I'm not sure I'm down with that.

Last week
in the used book store I went to three times
because they were having a rockin' sale,
a long-haired man questioned my cynicism.
Dana and I were scoffing
at books with titles like
God's Playbook
and The Bible's Answers to Life's Questions.
"Oh! Here are the answers! Why are we in seminary?"
And the long-haired eavesdropper
(okay, we weren't hard to hear)
came over with his query.
"If you don't mind me asking,
why are you in seminary?"
Taken aback
at our jokes being analyzed,
Dana and I shot each other a look
and I attempted to explain
my former life
in social work/social justice
and my desire to do that through the church and
with a theological basis.

Since then I've been thinking about
why I am in seminary.
But it's really a continuation of my ponderings
prompted by the Christmas-letter-writing-process
which highlighted my accomplishments and interactions
working with issues
like homelessness and disabilities
pre-Atlanta,
and my mere class attendance
and extensive babysitting
in Atlanta.

So why am I in seminary?
I wasn't really sure why I applied.
I wasn't really sure when I got here.
I wonder if I'll know by the time I graduate
in two and a half years.

Today
my answer is that
I want to gain a basic understanding
of major theological movements and figures
and hone my counseling and social change skills.

Tonight
I must read about the Jewish Bible (aka Old Testament).

Tomorrow
I will change the world.

I have work to do.

Are you kidding me?

I just wrote a long
wonderful post.
And it disappeared.
Damnation.

Dana's TV Dinner Manifesto

Practicing Our Faith: Library

She's published!
Rock on!
And now more insight may be gained...

TV Dinners

food, fun, fellowship

my friend Dana has a manifesto
concerning our TV Dinners.
(TV = Turner Village, our apt. complex;
Dinners = potluck)
she sees it as a practice of our small community
within a small community
within the church
within the world.
we have identified common themes:
cook/host serves main dish from kitchen
conversation moves between theology, music and movies
drew eats a lot

first TV dinner of the new year
last night at my apt.
breakfast theme
with french toast as the main dish
and bacon, sausage, biscuits, fruit salad,
and mimosas!
or just plain juice.
conversation went as predicted
starting with theology
moving to music and movies.

and i was glad to be home.
(later i'll do my own manifesto on "Home")
rock on.

Instant gratification

Like a fun new haircut
I love contact lenses
in that they change my appearance
so drastically
from the dark frames
I've been stuck with for 3 weeks.

Hooray for face freedom

Back to the big city (and a reflection on pets)

ATL = home for me
right now.

After a whirlwind few weeks
it's nice to have a stable place to be.
Here's where I went:
ATL to Greenwood, SC
to Kershaw, SC
to Gainesville, FL
to Tallahassee, FL
to Saluda, SC
to Kershaw, SC
to Charleston, SC
to Kershaw, SC
to Columbia, SC
to ATL.

I had a nearly entirely lovely time
and saw lots of friends and family.
I gave presents and got presents.
I gave hugs and got hugs.
I laughed, I cried.

My favorite cat died this week.
The first George
who I got ten years ago
when my brother got diabetes and a puppy.
George was orange with long lovely fur
and a regal attitude and he was beautiful.
And he had a fluffy butt.
And in the sunlight his fur looked pinkish
and when we first got him my grandma kept saying
"silly pink cat! don't you know cats aren't supposed to be pink?"
For the last 5 or so years George lived with her.

I feel a bit odd about pet grief.
Makes me think of Natalie Portman
in Garden State.
We've had lots of cats
and a few dogs.
No pet cemetary, though,
but I bet there are lots of parsonages
with kitties buried under backyard trees.
And I've had two fish:
The Grand Empress Willemina
and Gabriel.

I'm not good at fish.
And I don't love dogs:
too much energy and need for assistance.
I don't want to have to take a walk
at someone else's whim.

But cats!
Cats I love.
Cats I can identify with.
Cats are independent but loving
adventurous but not afraid of a midday nap
beautiful and graceful and silly.

That's what I'm thinking
now
upon return to Atlanta
and reflection on George.

I said there would be photos

First there's the ice storm
Second the butterflies
I saw with the family
and Grandma after Christmas.

Butterfly rainforest 

Butterfly rainforest 

Post Christmas ice storm en route to Florida 

A Whirlwind of Productivity

So there were books I was going to read.
But today I did a lot of other stuff
and I only left the house once.

I made:
3 necklaces
4 bracelets
30 dollars

I helped:
Mom pick out new workout shoes.
Grandma go outside to see the birds on the birdfeeder
and the squirrels eyeing the feeder from above in trees.

I watched:
My brother change my oil.
My aunt make boxes for my jeweled enterprise.
My mom make lunch.

Rock on.
Pictures still coming.
Later.

Rockin' the Net

Turns out there is dial-up at Grandma's.

So the world was pretty covered in ice.
But as my mom said
destructive.
Here's the equation:
sleet = icy trees = trees on road = long long trip to Florida

It was not our latest arrival at Grandma's
time-of-the-day-wise.
But 100 miles in 2.5 hours is crazy.

The nugget of truth
gained from the sleety excursion:
when ice is all over everything
stick to the interstate
and not so much tiny obscure backroads.

Rock on.
I'll try to post a photo
of the icy glory.
But not today...

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

Like me
Mother Nature takes her time

No white Christmas
Sleet Sunday



in other news:
I have a cel phone now
I'll be internet free this week
at Grandma's

rock on

The Christmas Letter

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
I hope they find you well, happy and healthy! 2004 has been my year of two cities, goodbyes and beginnings, and multitudes of adventures. I made a kind of chart.

Tallahassee
Job: Mental Health Outreach Specialist at Ability1st
Housing: 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment with my friend Kenyetta
Relaxing: St. George beach, downtown park market
Distance to family: 1/2 hour to Uncle Larry's, 2 and 1/2 hours to Grandma's, & 8 hours to my parents
Friends: wonderful, mostly work-related
My Boyfriend Dave: living blocks away, working at Dept. of Education

Atlanta
Job(s): part-time nanny, church nursery worker, tutor; student chaplain at a recovery program
Housing: 2 bedroom 1 bath on-campus apartment with Emily, another first year student
Relaxing: Atlanta (good food, museums, bunches of fun little neighborhoods to explore, always something going on)
Distance to family: 4 hours to my parents, 6 hours to Grandma
Friends: some college and US-2 friends, lots of new theologian friends
Dave: teaching high school English 3 hours away

Adventures
Some trips to the beach
Moving to a new state, and the biggest city I've lived in
Starting grad school after 3 and a half years of working
A trip to Minnesota with the family
Three pro baseball games -- 2 Twins and 1 Braves
Three lovely friends' wonderful weddings
Van Gogh exhibit at the High Museum
Late night dining at IHOP and Waffle House, just like college
TV dinners with theologians in training

Generally, life is good. I'm finding balance. I love Atlanta. I miss Tallahassee. I love being a seminary student, but I miss being in social service. I love learning, but not so much studying. I'm glad Dave is teaching, but I miss living near him. I have fabulous new friends, but I miss all my friends from Tallahassee, US-2, college, etc. I hope you, too, find balance at this year's end.
I wish you all peace and joy!
Merry Christmas!
Blessings!

Leaving the ATL

Heading out today.
Gone to the SC and the FL.
(Another version:
Leaving the 404.
Gone to the 864, 352, 803
and maybe the 850.)
Rock on three week break.

Tried to copy my Christmas letter
into this cyber world.
But alas.
Not a technology person.
So if it wouldn't copy and paste
it didn't get here.
May type it later.
Who the heck knows.

Bought/made all the presents
and now I'm broke.
But I am pleased.
Good thing I started making jewelry.

Stoked to see Dave
and family (both his and mine)
and friends.
Love a road trip.

Time to pack.
Only phrases today, folks.
Rock on.

Fern's Going Away CD

A Change Would Do You Good (Sheryl Crow)
Cowtown (They Might Be Giants)
Holiday (Weezer)
Cathedrals (Jump Little Children)
Strength, Courage, & Wisdom (India.Arie)
Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)
Istanbul/Constantinople* (TMBG)
Rains in Asia (JLC)
Old Dominion (Eddie from Ohio)
Soak Up the Sun (Sheryl Crow)
Hella Good (No Doubt)
Ring of Fire (Johnny Cash)
Mexico (JLC)
Stickshifts and Safetybelts (Cake)
Curbside Prophet (Jason Mraz)
Tiny Dancer (Elton John)
The Remedy (Jason Mraz)
Closer to Fine (Indigo Girls)
B-13 (JLC)
I See God in You (India.Arie)

*I have no idea what the real name of the song is,
but you totally know what I mean.

Not just confined to academia:

My procrastination extends
beyond borders of school or work.
From the list of things I was to do
Wednesday, I just today
did dishes.
Laundry, who knows when?
Tomorrow maybe.

However, I did take out the trash
and recycling.
And I am almost done
Christmas shopping.

I haven't started
any of those books
either.

Rock on, me.

High Culture

I went to the High Museum today.

Van Gogh
Monet
Pissaro
Picasso
Mondrian


My favorite painting
"Cafe' Terrace at Night"
was the centerpiece
of the exhibit "Van Gogh to Mondrian."
I looked at that painting at least 3 times.
The brush strokes were amazing,
the colors so bold,
the texture so rich and essential.
1888
and in 2004 it's still so beautiful.
Security guard told me I was too close
and kids on field trips would emulate me.

The Lists

Here's what I will do tomorrow:
sleep.
take Benjamin to the airport, or at least the bus station.
sleep.
go to the bank.
watch a little television.
do laundry.
flip through a magazine.
go tutor some kids.
wash the dishes.
eat some dinner, maybe from willy's (mm, tacos...).
drink some cokes.
watch a movie.
drink champagne with my ladies.

Here's what I will not do tomorrow:
write a paper.
study anything.
read anything that will increase my knowledge
about theology or the Old Testament or
Christian or Methodist history.
cook.
stress about anything.

Here are the books I want to read
over the next month
while I have no classes
and no guilt about what I should be reading
but am not:
Tall Pine Polka by Lorna Landvik
Jemima J by Jane Green
Gorilla My Love by Toni Cade Bambara (again!)
Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf

Aaagggh!

So much to say, so much to say, so much to sayyyyy...

Still not up to 15 pages.
Less than an hour and a half til it's due.

At least I had my crazy roommate here
typing like a madwoman too.
Our living room is one big pile of books
and echochamber of frustrated screams.

Almost there...
almost...

So Many Pages....

15 pages to go!

Methodists have so much history

and I must prove I know it.

Until then
it's type type type
and stall stall stall.

My first semester of seminary

of being a grad student

is over at 5:00pm tomorrow.

Tomorrow
in my breathing breaks
I will produce
1) a list of things I can do Wednesday
after exams are done
2) a list of books I might read
over Christmas break.

Fantastic.

Pages

Countdown:
5 hours
7 pages

I can rock this, right?
I got 3 pages in one and a half, so...
who knows.

Stinkin' old testament...
that Joab sure was manipulative
and he really liked to kill people
especially if they done him wrong
he could write one hell of a country song

Tonight and tomorrow:
Methodist History
Rock on

And I'm off!
Write write write write write
write write write write
write write write
write write
write

Words...

I have stuff to write for exams.
And stuff to study for exams.
So I am reading poetry.
Here are two poems by Gwendolyn Brooks
about other poets:



Of Robert Frost

There is a little lightning in his eyes.
Iron at the mouth.
His brows ride neither too far up nor down.

He is splendid. With a place to stand.

Some glowing in the common blood.
Some specialness within.



Langston Hughes

is merry glory.
Is saltatory.
Yet grips his right of twisting free.

Has a long reach,
Strong speech,
Remedial fears,
Muscular tears.

Holds horticulture
In the eye of the vulture
Infirm profession.
In the Compression --
In mud and blood and sudden death --
In the breath
Of the holocaust he
Is helmsman, hatchet, headlight.
See
One restless in the exotic time! and ever,
Til the air is cured of its fever.

It's Saturday

and I'm in the southern Carolina
on the western side.

My love's cough rattles
ill weeks
his attention on video games
in lieu of teenagers' literary knowledge.
Dr. said
don't teach yet
you might give the sick to the kids.
Dave said
why not
they gave it to me.

This week
of 14 pages due
finally ended
and I am breathing.
25 take home pages
and 1 actual final
remain.

Lucky...

So, insanity.
Book = long, dense
Luck = 5 page conclusion/summary

Still
7 pages to write

I am not
a good student.

In case you had not guessed.